Ingrid's Birth Story, Part 4

(Find the rest of Ingrid's Birth Story here: Part 1 ///// Part 2 ///// Part 3) 

I was getting pretty far along at this point, so Danielle suggested I get into a warm bath. I laid on my side in the tub with a wet towel over me. It felt nice and relaxing. I was so exhausted at this point that I actually fell asleep a couple of times in the one minute break between contractions! But the contraction themselves were getting more intense. Up to this point, I had only breathed deeply and spoken one-word commands to Kirk, like "push!", "right!", "down!", etc... But with each of the last few contractions in the tub, a low groan came out of my mouth. Finally, I couldn't lay in the tub anymore. I needed to get up.

Mr. Crispy was Kirk's high school punk band. His sister Kari made this onesie for Ingrid.

Throughout my labor, Robyn and Danielle would come in to check on me periodically. They were always available just outside the door, but they let us have our privacy. I appreciated this. Labor took so much of my concentration and focus that I didn't want any distractions. The fewer people the better. I know some women want a whole support group in the room with them as they go through labor. I only wanted Kirk. No one else. But I didn't want Kirk to leave me for a minute. Even when he stepped outside the door for a few seconds to tell Danielle that I was ready to push seemed like an eternity. I remember thinking that he must be hungry, but I couldn't bare the thought of him leaving to go get food. Luckily for me, he didn't.

Now I was entering the pushing phase of labor, and I was glad for Robyn and Danielle to be there, too, with their expertise. They told me to start pushing on the toilet. My bag of waters was still intact at this point, so Danielle used something that looked like a crochet hook to break it. (Very convenient for that to happen while I was sitting on the toilet, don't you think?) Just a few minutes later, they told me I needed to walk back into the room and sit on the birthing stool. At that point, it seemed like a monumental task to have to walk from the toilet into the room, around the bed, and over to the stool. But Robyn and Danielle each took an arm and guided me there.

Let me just say that at this point, my hospital gown was long gone. If you know me, then you know that I am a shy person when it comes to nudity. I'm the one who changes clothes in the bathroom stall instead of next to my locker at the gym. So, for me to be 9 months pregnant, stark naked, and crouching on a stool in front of my nurse and midwife -- well, it's just funny. But at that point, I didn't care at all. It was the least of my worries. I just wanted to get my baby out!

As you can see in this pic, Ingrid had "Queen Elizabeth hair", so last week, I buzzed it.

I wanted her out so badly that I pushed and pushed and pushed. I kept pushing even when the urge subsided. Kirk later told me that he could feel every muscle in my body harden and strain. I pushed so hard that I began tearing fairly quickly. Robyn and Danielle had been putting warm compresses on me and doing all that they could to keep this from happening, but they couldn't stop me from pushing so hard. They moved me into the bed and had me lay on my back to try and keep the tearing from going too far. As Ingrid began crowning, Danielle had me reach down and feel the top of Ingrid's head. It was almost unbelievable to think that after 9 months, she was finally so close to coming out. Then Danielle asked me to slow down so that she could help stretch out my skin. I tried for about 2 seconds, but couldn't bare it. I had to push. She was worried that I would tear all the way, so she asked me if she could do a small episiotomy. As soon as she made the snip, I pushed again, and Ingrid came spiraling out into Kirk's hands.



Kirk laid Ingrid on my chest, and I distinctly remember the feel of her tiny, wet behind cupped in my right hand. It felt so surreal. "There's a baby on me!" I said in a daze. Kirk leaned over us and kissed us both, tears streaming down his face. That state of euphoria that people talk about so often in the moments following birth? To be honest, I don't think I really felt it. Yes, I was relived that labor was over, and yes, I was happy to have my little girl in my arms. But I had lost a lot of blood, I was still in pain, and I think I was in shock. I did see it in Kirk's face, though. I'll never forget how full of love and joy he looked at that moment.

Throughout my 12 hour labor, I had never complained or said anything negative. But now that I had the prize in my arms, I no longer felt that intense focus and determination. I winced as they stitched me up, and complained about the pain in my back (which was caused by the placenta that was still inside me). Once the placenta came out, I felt real relief. Kirk cut the cord, they cleaned Ingrid up a bit, then put her back on my chest and covered us in warm blankets. She latched on soon after, and I nursed her for the first time.

For the next several hours, Kirk and I held our little Ingrid and tried to take it all in. We were completely captivated by her. We felt no need to read, watch TV, or do anything for entertainment other than stare at our beautiful baby. If I had been in shock at first, that feeling had worn off and been replaced by a tired, but deep happiness. I knew that I would do anything for Ingrid, and that Kirk felt the same way.

We finally got to hold our baby in our arms, and it was the best feeling in the world.

Ingrid May Jorgensen.
Born November 16, 2010
8 lbs 9 oz, 20 in

Ingrid's Birth Story, Part 3

(Find the rest of Ingrid's Birth Story here: Part 1 ///// Part 2 ///// Part 4)

Ingrid may be my first baby, but I'd been in labor before. It's intense. It requires all of my concentration, and it tires me out. Contrary to what I heard in my hypnobirthing class, it hurts. But it's not scary, I've learned that I can get through it, and it's so worth it.

When I woke up at 2:30AM on November 16th 2010, I knew right away that I was in labor. For a second, I had the noble thought of letting Kirk sleep for awhile longer as I dealt with these early contractions. Only for a second, though. I woke Kirk up and had him massage my lower back as the next contraction came. Then I tried a warm bath for a while, but this seemed to slow contractions down. Although enticing, I knew that it would all be over faster if I just got on with things. So I got out of the bath and started walking in circles around our kitchen island. Each time a contraction came, I would drape my arms around Kirk's neck, and again he would massage my lower back until the contraction stopped.

Danielle (my midwife) had given us her cell phone number and told us to call when labor began. She sounded so groggy on the phone that we felt kinda bad. But it was so reassuring to be able to communicate directly with her that Kirk called her every couple of hours with an update and request for instructions. Finally, at around 8 in the morning, when my contractions were consistently 2-3 minutes apart, she gave us the green light to go to the hospital. I managed to shower and dress and grab a bagel for the road. We live downstairs from my parents, and as I was getting into the car, my dad happened to look out the window. He snapped a quick photo on his phone as I was looking up at him. He showed it to me later, and I look exhausted. Content, but exhausted.

It's a 30 minute car ride to the hospital from our house. Every time a contraction came, I came so close to demanding that Kirk stop the car. He told me later that he really wanted to stop the car, too. But neither of us said a word.

When we arrived at the hospital, we just walked right in and up to the labor and delivery unit (albeit at an excruciatingly slow pace). Robyn, our delivery nurse, introduced herself, and showed us into our room. She handed me a hospital gown and then left the room to let me get changed. I was grateful for the privacy. When she returned, she hooked me up to some equipment to run a few short tests, checked to see how far dilated I was, and that was it. She suggested I take a walk and that she'd just need to monitor Ingrid's heart rate every so often.

I tried walking back and forth across the room, but that didn't last long. At this point, I was having extra long contractions -- 2-3 minutes each -- and walking was too much effort. Danielle had arrived by now, and she had me sit on a labor ball (aka an exercise ball) and rotate my hips whenever a contraction started. This ended up being my favorite way to get through the labor pains. I'd sit there on the ball with my arms and head leaning on the hospital bed. Kirk would sit behind me and massage or push against my lower back until it was over. (He later told me he could feel my bones moving.) I'd breathe deeply, and think about something pleasant. Sometimes I'd pray intensely and think about baby Ingrid and how this was all worth it. Other times, I'd picture myself on the warm, sandy stretch of beach that I lived near as a child. Anything to get my mind off of things and try to get my body to relax. At one point, I said to Kirk, "I feel tempted...", but didn't finish the sentence. We both knew that I was talking about getting an epidural. But I had decided many months ago that I wanted to do this naturally, so I didn't bring it up again.

After laboring on the ball for quite a while, I was still having double contractions. Danielle said it was because Ingrid was coming down to the side, and my body was trying to move her into the middle. To help it along, she suggested I lay down on my stomach with one knee up, one arm in front, and one arm in back. Then she told me to stay in that position for the duration of 5 contractions. My 9 months pregnant belly was so huge, I didn't know how I would manage it. And I'll be honest -- it was pretty awful. I was extremely uncomfortable even when not in a contraction... and during a contraction I just felt so helpless and like there was nothing I could do to ease the intensity. But it worked! The second that 5th contraction stopped, I got right up and back onto the labor ball. Now I was having normal 1 minute contractions. And let me tell you, the difference between one and two minutes can be huge.

Part 4 coming soon...

Ingrid's Birth Story, Part 2

I felt sick day and night during the first trimester. I think it was my body's way of making me eat in a super healthy way for the growing baby inside me. Anything sugary, oily, fatty, creamy, cheesy or meaty made me feel worse. I lived off of grains, fresh fruit, and broth based soups. I needed at least 10 hours of sleep at night to feel halfway decent. At work, I would have to take breaks from the computer and just lay down on the floor. I'd slog through my work, wishing I could just lay on the couch day after day after day...

During the second trimester, I felt pretty fantastic. The timing was perfect -- it fell during the summer when we did all our traveling for our show circuit. New York City, Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego... We made it home for my 20 week ultrasound, and found out that we would be having Ingrid (and not Lars). I began showing -- but a lot of people just thought I was fat. (Isn't that an awkward phase?) During this time, I started feeling Ingrid kick... and a lot! I loved her little movements inside me. Each week they grew stronger and stronger.

By the time I hit my third trimester, there was no question of my looking pregnant. I have a short torso, so my belly just stuck straight out. On top of that, I began retaining water. I couldn't wear socks without my feet swelling up like water balloons. My wedding rings no longer fit, and neither did a lot of my maternity clothes. I began having frequent Braxton-Hicks contractions. Nights were horrible. My weird body pillow didn't help much anymore. I had to sleep on the couch, pillows wedged everywhere. I'd spend 10 minutes getting into a perfect position, then have to get up 30 minutes later to go to the bathroom or turn over because my hip hurt. During this time, we were hard at work renovating our new live/work space and getting ready to move our studio. My lumbering body was too big and awkward to allow me to help out much. Instead, I was the fat overseer barking orders to Kirk and our poor family members and friends. (They all deserve medals.)

40 weeks came and went. My stretch marks were spreading larger by the day. My feet were growing puffier by the hour. Ingrid had to come out. I went in to get visit my midwife (Danielle Demeter) and get some tests run when I was 8 days overdue. We had an ultrasound to check things out. The technician estimated that Ingrid would weigh 8 lbs 9 oz. I commented that if she was that big, she must be running out of room in there. The tech replied that actually, my body had done a great job making room and fluid for her to move around in (in other words, my belly was gigantic). No wonder Ingrid was in no hurry.

Danielle decided to sweep my membranes to see if that would help move things along. That night, Kirk and I watched a silly movie to get our minds off of things (Days of Thunder) and drifted off to sleep. I woke up 2 hours later, and I was in labor.
 

Ingrid's Birth Story, Part 1

Maternity photos by Zuzanna Audette

Many people have asked how my labor and delivery went. Was it long? Did I take any medications? Were there any complications? Was I able to breastfeed right away? But before I get into all of that, I'd like to talk about this business of becoming pregnant. Although I now love reading peoples' birth stories on blogs, I feel like there aren't enough mentions about the obstacles that are often in the way of having a baby.

Ingrid didn't come easily to me and Kirk. While we were struggling to get pregnant, it felt like a small blow to my heart each time I found out that someone I knew was expecting. Of course I was always happy for them, but it was also a reminder of our own sad situation. It seemed to me like everyone else in the world could get pregnant at the drop of a hat. It didn't seem fair that there were little teenagers running around getting knocked up all over the place, and here we were, a responsible couple in a loving relationship, trying month after month with no luck.

While Kirk and I were going through this, it was so hard for me to talk about it with anyone -- even with my family and closest friends. It felt too private -- and that somehow by keeping it to myself I had more control over it. I really only felt comfortable talking about it with other women who had gone through similar things. It gave me strength and hope to know that I wasn't the only one sitting on the toilet month after month waiting for the pink lines to appear. And that's why I decided to share this part of our family's story with you. To reach out to those who have gone through similar struggles, and to help raise some awareness among those who haven't.

When Kirk and I started trying about 3 1/2 years ago (June 2007), we were 27 years old, and had been married for a few years. I thought getting pregnant would be easy. My mom had never had any trouble, so why should I?  For the first 6 months or so, we just went off the pill and thought it would just "happen". No such luck.

So then my mom recommended that I get the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I put it off for a couple of months because it was my mom who recommended it to me (maybe you know how that goes). But it ended up being full of really good information. We started getting really technical in our efforts (tracking periods, temperature, etc...). That was in the spring of 2008. We passed the year mark that summer, and people said I should go to the doctor. But I didn't...maybe because I was afraid of what I might find out.

In any case, we kept trying and ended up getting pregnant around Thanksgiving 2008. But I started bleeding heavily on New Year's Day as we were traveling from Utah back to Ohio. We had a layover in Las Vegas, and as I sat in the airport and watched all the people passing by, I just thought: "All of those people are just walking on by, and I'm in the middle of losing my baby". That night, I began having labor pains. They came and went for a few hours. When they finally subsided, I knew that our baby was gone. I happened to have scheduled my yearly exam for the following day. When I went in, I told the OB what had happened and she did an interior ultrasound. She said that I had indeed suffered a miscarriage, but that everything looked fine and healthy. The miscarriage was probably just a fluke. I held it together as I spoke with her, but when I checked out with the receptionist a few minutes later, I broke down. She came around the counter and hugged me until I got control of myself.

Kirk and I were heartbroken but also encouraged to know that it was possible for us to get pregnant. We waited a couple of months and decided to start trying again. But we came up against another obstacle. Kirk was graduating from Ohio State, and we were moving back to Utah. We had to switch insurance companies. And they told us that in order for a pregnancy to be covered, we would have to wait. Even though we weren't physically trying, it felt like we were. The waiting wasn't any easier. But several months later, the insurance kicked in, and we began again.

Another year had gone by. I still didn't go to the doctor. Not even for a yearly exam. I should have.... but once again I was afraid of what I might find out and didn't want to be labeled as "infertile". Especially since we are self-employed. I was afraid our insurance would be taken away and then our future family would be worse off. I hated feeling so vulnerable to insurance company policies. So I started reading up on adoption. I felt drawn to it (still do). We kept trying.

Finally, in February of last year, the second pink line appeared on the pregnancy test. It was over 2 and a half years from the time we originally started trying. I think it might have helped that I was less stressed out after Kirk joined me with SSP and we moved back to Utah. It probably also helped that Kirk and I were exercising more and eating better. Who knows?

But even though I was already pregnant -- and overjoyed -- it still didn't feel real. It felt like we were still "trying". Because I had had a miscarriage at around 7 weeks the first time, I was scared it would happen again. I didn't even realize how frightened I was until my first appointment (at 7 wks) with my midwife. She did an ultrasound and showed me Ingrid's heartbeat. She told me that if you can see the heart beating at less than 8 weeks, you have a less than 1% chance of losing the baby. Once again, all my pent up emotions came rushing out and I burst into tears.... this time with relief.

I know that everyone who struggles to have a baby has a different experience. I know that mine and Kirk's issues weren't nearly as intense as many others'. We were lucky that we didn't have to go on any medications, and that we ended up with a healthy little girl. But I also know that sometimes it just helps to hear someone's story who didn't get pregnant on the first shot.

Welcome to the World!

I've fallen in love all over again...
This time with a tiny little girl named Ingrid May Jorgensen.

She was born on Tuesday, November 16, 2010 at 3:14 in the afternoon.
The stats: 8 pounds 9 ounces, 20 inches, and a full head of dark blond hair.

Thanks to everyone for your love and well wishes!